Hope is the Crutch of the Foolish
by catherine ampere
Summary: It's a sad revelation when two people agree that what they could have had will never happen.


**Well hello there! I'm back like a bad case of heartburn. I'm trying my hand at angst. As much as I think Tony and Ziva belong together, but sometimes I listen to too much Adele and I can't shake the fear that they've missed their chance. It's a little shorter than my usual stuff-okay, it's a lot shorter-but I don't think I could've written a longer one. That's just too much depression.**

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><p>She hears his quiet laughter and a vicious feeling of unrest grows deep from within. Despite her better judgment, she steals a glance at the smile on his face and knows almost instantly that he's talking to<em> her<em> on the phone. She's come to acknowledge this as a car wreck she can't tear her eyes away from. He continues to keep his tone hushed, light, and happy, but it only serves to fuel her discomfort. Their conversation lasts not more than three minutes, but the damage has been done. She feels irreparably changed for witnessing it, and can't shake the feeling that he's slipped away for good.

She asks herself if this is what she wants. After all, does she need another man who keeps secrets from her and outright denies the truth when confronted? Hasn't she faced enough of that in her lifetime already? Why is it so hard for her to acknowledge that he isn't right for her-why can't she let him go? Was he ever hers to claim?

He catches her glance and smiles, but it seems forced, like the one he gives her when she's caught him in a lie. it breaks her heart slowly, but she refuses to show her hand. If he wants to fold, she'll fold, but until then, she'll play her cards close to the vest and hope that truth never comes to light.

It's another few days before she's certain they've missed their chance. She can tell by the look in his eyes that she's lost, that he's in love with someone else, and a sense of finality washes over her. She does the only thing she can and encourages the leap forward, determined to bury her feelings forever. She knows that this is it, and it's almost like a weight off her shoulders. She can finally let go of the one thing holding her heart so tightly that it sometimes hurt to breathe. It was over now, and they had missed their chance.

He hasn't felt right with her since the day on that ship when she all but admitted that there was another man. It's almost as if he forgot how to act around her, how to talk, how to think, how to smile. All he focuses on is not letting the pain slip through his carefully constructed mask of false bravado. He sometimes thinks she can see it, but maybe she chooses to pretend she can't. Or maybe they'd lost their ability to connect on a level that no one else could with each other. He doesn't want to think the latter's true, but some days it seems like the only explanation. How is it possible that he works so close to her, yet has never felt so distant, so disconnected?

It's hard for him to trust this stranger, the swarthy mystery man who exudes a cockiness that manages to appall even him. How is he supposed to believe that this foreign spy has a genuine interest in her? How can he for one second accept that this guy is _the _one when the man's shrouded in lies, not to mention compromises her career, the thing she's so proud of? This can't be the way it ends.

As the plane takes off without her, he knows that it is, and the sourness of a premature ending stings him all over.

He never thought he'd be the guy who didn't get the girl. In his mind, he always had the starring role. But the bitter reality that his life has gone so cruelly off-script nearly steals his breath.

She didn't know she wanted it, wanted everything, till the moment she saw him wanting it with someone else. She'd questioned it, always pondering scenarios, but her gut made up its mind the very minute she'd lost the battle. She wonders if she was ever really her fight in the first place. Was she even a contender?

It's a sad revelation when two people agree that what they could have had will never happen, when they give up the hypothetical and accept the harsh truth of the reality. Somehow, somewhere, deep down they both knew that as much as they wanted, and hoped, and silently brooded, they would never _really_ be right for each other. He was never her gun-wielding prince charming, and she was never his leading lady. But sometimes, hope can take the most practical people and turn them into fools.

And it can also make the heartbreak all the more painful.

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><p><strong>Anyone need a tissue?<strong>


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